Cents2Sense – Personal Accountability Journal





June 4, 2018

The Side Effects of Growing up by, Existing with, Leaving and Surviving Narcissistic Behavior

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

noun: narcissist; plural noun: narcissists
1. a person who is overly concerned with his or her physical appearance
2. an extremely self-centered person who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance

Narcissists typically display most, and sometimes all, of the following traits:[6]

  • -An obvious self-focus in interpersonal exchanges
    -Problems in sustaining satisfying relationships
    -A lack of psychological awareness (see insight in psychology and psychiatry, egosyntonic)
    -Difficulty with empathy
    -Problems distinguishing the self from others (see personal boundaries)
    -Hypersensitivity to any insults or imagined insults (see criticism and narcissists, narcissistic rage and narcissistic injury)
    -Vulnerability to shame rather than guilt
    -Haughty body language
    -Flattery towards people who admire and affirm them (narcissistic supply)
    -Detesting those who do not admire them (narcissistic abuse)
    -Using other people without considering the cost of doing so
    -Pretending to be more important than they actually are
    -Bragging (subtly but persistently) and exaggerating their achievements
    -Claiming to be an “expert” at many things
    -Inability to view the world from the perspective of other people
    -Denial of remorse and gratitude

1.Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.[clarify]
2. Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to “dump” shame onto others.
3. Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may “reinflate” their sense of self-importance by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.
4. Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person’s ability by using contempt to minimize the other person or their achievements.
5. Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an “awkward” or “difficult” person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.
6. Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other person is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.
7. Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist, there is no boundary between self and other.

It may be a theory for some, a game to others but for me, this was an indoctrination in insanity.  A constant seeking for the Love normally exchanged between friends and family.  The giving selflessly joint survival toward better of the whole kind. Everyone feels they have some contribution regardless of the situation.  The unit is as important as each person within to make the forward journey through life.  In this fashion, talents help everyone succeed because of the freedom to help and challenge each other knowing its all for best interest.

This will be my story of how I was able to wade through the sea of muck to this point.  I will not be the arrogant writer claiming I found the holy grail for every type of Narcissist out there because I don’t.  The ones I’ve met at each stage of their maturity level were acting according to that environment, place, time, lesson and opportunity called for at the time.  I also have to say race matters because of the traditions ingrained in generations of victims on all sides of the spectrum.  Financial level of the poverty scale is another that will be mentioned.  The access to money can differ but the danger is equal.  Whoever gets in the Narcissist vicinity is sucked into its orbit to be pulled in until there is nothing left.  But there is always hope.

To Be Continued…




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