Definition: The action of betraying one’s country, a group, or a person; treachery.
My relationship with betrayal: Began early. It became the theme with my immediate family. So much that my extended family stopped asking why on my behalf. Either they had their own issues to deal with or to face reality was too costly personally.
Everything said, did or they had me believe was a lie. There was never honesty or a plan to be humane where I’m concerned. The objective is to drain every bit of life from me. Use and confuse in order to maintain an oblivious donor. I cut all ties, all associations, all forms of taking anything personally. I asked for clarity and the ability to truly accept where all relationships stand then act in accordance to each. Letting go meant allow my family, now fully grown men children, friends of all kinds both male and female live and be how they choose without the ties.
Betrayal bites to the core of your being when you look back at all of the choices made that were calculated lies that built into phony perceptions and emotions. Who but a sociopath can carry this for 49 years? That is when you have to stop mid-stream and retreat not out of fear but to look before my next step with clear eyes, heart, soul and mind. The weight I was carrying was a needed lesson and I thank you family real and not for every bit.
That betrayal made me into the woman today who wakes every morning thanking God I no longer have to choose that. I chose me and the Love that goes with that. Enough for now.
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