You may ask why I send pictures, words, thoughts of hope, possibilities, and Love.
- I know how it feels to be pushed aside
- I remember the feeling of unwanted
- Heard the harsh words of anger and confusion
- Fell victim to loneliness and despair
- Bore children out hate and shame
- Felt chills as molesters, assaulters stole pieces of my personality.
- Understood the beatings as something I did.
- Wore unaccepted through tearful moments after being close to death being left for months with monsters.
- Moved with the confines of mental slavery for others prosperity
- Answered the blows to ugliness, jealousy, and pain
- I have smiled the wonder recovering in blood-soaked water with no options
- Bore the burden of others fragile ego, giving until stripped naked bruised, loveless, fearful hurt body.
- Get flashes of horror den homes to frightening from the outside let alone having to stay sane while living with them for months.
I have seen all of these things and more yet in the morning, I am able to watch the sunrise in peace. The angry, shaming, hateful noise we hear from the list plus more I imagine can slowly be silenced a bit more when I find how I’m gonna approach my day. Through all that in my head before 6 am. This why I share I’m struggling daily with these thoughts and emotions. But sharing them openly without fear of hurting the abuser is no longer an issue. Neither are the people who orchestrate the abuse from others onto their kids for money. This is one of the depths of destruction happening every day to human lives. The conditioning to accept yourself as usable is not acceptable. It leads to domestic violence in the next generation because we repeat though we so direly don’t want to. Two sides to every coin/choice. Some heal others hurt. I chose to share, educate, Love and have compassion for myself, you and everyone that read this. We can give ourselves compassion, we made it this far. Now you can move forward knowing someone is cheering you on through the hellfire around us.
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