Definition of disconnect transitive verb 1: to sever the connection of or between 2: dissociate 1 are disconnected from meaningful relationships
intransitive verb 1: to terminate a connection 2: to become detached or withdrawn disconnects into dark moods
Of course, I knew the definition but seeing it made talking about it real. So I began pondering it then chose to put it away. If it pops back up it’s telling me to pay attention to it. Well, the next time would be March 22nd. I searched for music examples of disconnectedness, but I came up with nothing. So I left the web page open staring and avoiding it altogether.
Fear usually comes into play when I don’t want to accept the concept in front of me. That would mean implementation for myself before I pass it on for those that may need it from my point of view. On March 11th while I’m sitting in church the word that had me stuck became clear but fear kept me silent until today. It was only one word in the story of Adam and Eve that jumped at me that day. Snake. The evil talking to Eve causing her husband Adam to listen seeing that she has the ability to speak to the reptile. It told them they could be gods by eating from the tree of Knowledge.
Ego is the fall of us all, becoming disconnected from our true self. Confusing our lives with feeling superior, better than, special or entitled. We forget we already have our equal birth rights among us. This new negative language/separation becomes our ego. The lie that some lack the right to a peaceful free life is pure blindness to our true inherited humanity. We all become the disconnected.
We’ve been there past and present. Praying to stay away from feeling disconnected or fear. But every morning our choice is to either hear the ego or let it go. Where we can expect nothing but fear, doubt, and hatred. Or listen, remember, and live with Love guiding us toward our personal happiness. The belief that we can be opposite Love is definitely an ego problem. It causes us to turn our backs the very thing we want, then we complain. Choosing to wear masks to hide until we no longer recognize ourselves as apart of God’s kingdom. So full of darkness that we are unable to create from the shared starting point where we all are equal.
How many years have we wasted disconnecting our mind? Sleeping at our schools, jobs, with our family, life, thoughts, routines; years go by in a blink of an eye. We all know better than any Authority. We put ourselves in the judgment seat. We decide who we like, who is acceptable, who is to blame. If it isn’t benefitting the chosen then there’s nothing to talk about. The damned or the “others” aren’t included in reaping any benefit.
A lot to digest all at once. Bringing the idea to how it applies to my life is where acceptance delayed my progress. See I blocked so much pain for years that it began taking a toll on my body, spirit, and mind. The disconnectedness within my immediate family was obvious for all to see. Shurgging it off helped me sleep through it instead of dealing with the situation. Noticing and dealing are two different things. Watching while judging never solved any of my issues nor did my cutbe ties with anything toxic. Thinking as long as I’m disconnected, it will be poof, better. Please do not believe that.
Since I’ve bee discussing my accountability in my healing process. I have to be honest about all things. Disconnectedness was slow but, it become guidelines to me as a child. My classrooms were anywhere they dropped me off, my actual school and my own home. Out of the three choices, school was easiest for me to navigate. I had gotten used to attending any school in many states, at any part of the normal school year. I remind myself disconnection loves confuson but if I remain focused I will find a glimmer of normal.
It takes time and needs tomove forward with no expectations or regrets. There will be times that will arrive when negativity would be an easier choice. Some like me can survive in chaos but would rather have peace. You don’t turn off the safe guards you’ve created all at once. Those fairy tale monsters became real people in our lives one way or another. You made it through the worst; now we must take time to heal ourselves. Some will say its selfish to focus on yourself especially if you’re a mom. This time for healing has to become a necessity like brushing your teeth.
When recovering from a Ego/Fear/Traumatic filled life. Disconnecting to us is 2nd nature since it may be the reason we are still alive and breathing. Living to fight another day the way we choose is hard work. Add the emotional, physical, spiritual strength we need because life is a rollercoaster. I see now how my choices for improving my life to get happiness was for good reason. The lessons I’ve learned or seen remind me how blessed I am. Please remember to apply the same amount of compassion you do for others to yourself. EQUALLY!
Some days won’t be rosy but loving myself through it is better than being miserable. We also have to remember when we twist ourselves into another person for the wrong reasons, it wares on us. It isn’t worth your health or present opportunity at happiness.