Personal Accountability Negativity Release Journal: Unappreciated & Unimportant

Define Unappreciated – Not recognized, as to quality or work.

– Not risen in price or value.

– Not given or shown thanks or gratitude.

Unimportant   – Not important, insignificant, nothing, petty, lacking in significance or value.

My relationship with Unappreciated and Unimportant was my entire name existence and life expectancy for the future.  They were expected emotions the moment my grandmother died.  Unappreciated is being groomed to serve; not in a good way. Learning that there is nothing I can do good enough because people see a black woman.  Double negative (I’ve been told this for real) two strikes, my third was hearing that I was dumb constantly as an attempt to take my confidence.

This meant at 9 my days of learning from my grandma had to become my foundation.  She understood how to make your surroundings reflect your feelings and it should always be Love.  The only thing that remained the same was the routine she started, the only difference was my being in charge.  There are no rewards for doing well for women like me.  My achievements from graduating elementary through graduating high school were treated with punishments for thinking I’m so smart.  Only my brother deserves recognition, no one cares how smart I am, once I have a baby it’s all over from there.  I should find a man and stay there hoping he doesn’t kick my ass or sleep around on me because men can do that.  That’s the rules, men run the show.  And I kept my school achievements to myself, I recognize the hypocrisy from them on every level but what I was supposed to do?

Unappreciated and Unimportant were plastered in every conversation or life lesson we came across.  If they need a high school diploma when I was a sophomore, make me take the test, pass then put me on punishment for 3 months.  !st to ever hold a diploma male or female in our immediate family.  The first female to join the service and serve in the Navy; put me on punishment until I left home for good.  No good luck letters or words of encouragement.  Only opportunities to gain, prosper, use and then tell me how horrible I am as a woman, mother and human being if I disagree.

Unappreciated is being told I don’t give compliments but will to strangers.  Want conversation, Love and honesty but only bark commands, business, or wants after choices had been made.  Though you were supposed to be equal, you have no say in the processes.

Unappreciated is seeing, is seeing, feeling and witnessing the disdain or uninterest in being around me unless something is needed.

Unappreciated and Unimportant is not being asked about yourself, no interest in you but expect me to know, do and deliver all that is wanted through osmosis or telepathy.  No-one cares about our talents, hopes and dreams, as long as we produce.  Go in a corner alone somewhere and pat yourself on the back; make sure no a soul see, hear or can guess.  I once read and can honestly say its true.  The most unloved, unwatered, fertilized and cared for flower in this world is a black woman.  She endures despite all.

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