Personal Accountability Negativity Release Journal: Hatred

Define Hatred – Intense dislike or ill will.  Extreme dislike or disgust.

My relationship with Hatred: Has always been hidden.  Stuffed down in order to survive the environment, person or situation.  I hated myself for reacting to the truth I didn’t want to accept.and for not reacting when it is necessary.  When reality is too hard to swallow, life can be a consistent dream hoping for better feel.  There has to be something wrong to be in the receiving pain and hatred all day every day from those who in normal situations life, teach and show Love.

How many days, months and years pass with reality smacking you everytime you deny it?  How long will you make excuses for and allow hatred to fester?  Coiling, moving, changing so much that it mimics Love.  Hatred of not being wanted, disregarded, demeaned, discouraged, told in meticulous detail how significant you are, just because.  For every mistake, in the past and future; hatred is expected.

Self-hatred for yourself is introduced as a coping mechanism so when you are free, you can then be happy.  But that phony mantra has conditions impossible to achieve.  Therefore, giving you the trap of being unworthy.  You can’t escape it because of who and, what (being a “weaker” gender) life will always suck for you.

Planting deep-seated hatred that’s hidden so far in the dark that nightmares only give you a glimpse of the hell you lived and programmed your brain to hide for sanity.  The continuous dripping doubt and insecurity to feed the false ego shadowing any form of light all in the name of hatred.

 

 

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