November 13, 2018

Personal Accountability Negativity Release Journal: Day 3: Failure/Frustration

Failure/Frustration are emotions that haunt some women’s daily life in motherhood, as a wife, daughter, all the way to grandmother.  Our job never ends so my rate for a long time was a standing 8 or 9.

Definitions:  Failure:  Lack of success; omission of expected/required action.

Frustration:  Feeling of being upset/annoyed at the inability to change or achieve something.

My relationship with Failure and Frustration:

When I feel like I’ve failed or become frustrated because the job, behavior of someone, an action, idea, path, relationship or day doesn’t go the way I wanted.  Failure/frustration is thick and becomes heavy on my mind, body, and soul.  Trying to achieve to get approval from my family was at the root of my frustration.  Nothing I could do was enough or did it please anyone so these negative thoughts became normal.  Rebelling against already being seen as less because I’m a woman was motivation to rebel.

Failure/Frustration can and did make me react wrongly, swiftly and 90% of the time out of the desperation to feel better when others influence your every move the emotion of frustration graduates to a deeper side.  The gradual loss of hope can be devastating especially when I allow others opinion dictate these negative patterns.  And the topics can be my children to how I live my life daily.  Without a positive sense of happiness/ accomplishment; just being myself or understanding the fact that I can only control myself is still difficult on some days.

Failure/frustration’s walls can be extremely high to get over.  So I choose to be gentle and forgive starting with myself.  I’ve done the best I could knowing very little about self-care.

 

Namaste,

Symphony

11/7/18

 

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